30 Best Ted Lasso Quotes On Love Hope And Leadership

Ted Lasso is an American football coach, moving to England to manage a football team. inspired by some real-life Premier League managers like Jurgen Kloop and Pep Guardiola.

If you are looking for Ted Lasso Quotes, then browse through our collection of Ted Lasso Quotes that we have collected from many sources on the internet.

Best Ted Lasso Quotes

  1. “Be honest with me. It’s a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren’t around, y’all know it tastes like garbage? You don’t love it. It’s pigeon sweat.” – Ted Lasso
  2. “Back where I’m from, you try to end a game in a tie; well, that might as well be the first sign of the apocalypse.” – Ted Lasso
  3. “We’re gonna call this drill ‘The Exorcist’ ’cause it’s all about controlling possession.” – Ted Lasso
  4. “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. Y’know why? It’s got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish.” – Ted Lasso
  5. “If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.” – Ted Lasso
  6. “I’m not sure what y’all’s smallest unit of measurement is here, but that’s about how much headway I made.” – Ted Lasso
  7. “I think I literally have a better understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside… It was the mob.” – Ted Lasso
  8. “Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there, you’re just 1 of 11. And if you just figure out someway to turn that ‘me’ into ‘us’…the sky’s the limit for you.” – Ted Lasso
  9. “I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat.” – Ted Lasso
  10. “For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.” – Ted Lasso
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  11. “If I didn’t have any confidence, I never would’ve worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of that night.” – Ted Lasso
  12. “You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like ’em just like my mother’s bathing suits. I only wanna see ’em in one piece, you hear?” – Ted Lasso
  13. “Here’s an idea that’s gonna help a little or hurt a whole lot. Who needs a drink?” – Ted Lasso
  14. “You know how they say that ‘youth is wasted on the young’? Well, I say don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you. I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about it.” – Ted Lasso
  15. “Coach Beard’s views on romantic relationships are not too dissimilar from his views on cooking steak. You know, you spend any more than five minutes on one — it loses its flavor.” – Ted Lasso
  16. “I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper. You just push all the wrong buttons.” – Ted Lasso
  17. “I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids.” – Ted Lasso
  18. “What I can tell you is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever.” – Ted Lasso

Funniest Ted Lasso Quotes

  1. “I think one of the neatest things about being a coach is the connection you get to make with your players. That’s a loss that hits me a lot harder and is gonna stay with me a lot longer than anything that happens while playing a game on a patch of grass.” – Ted Lasso
  2. “Sounds to me like someone’s trapped inside life’s most complicated shape: a love triangle. Second place of course is the ‘I just walked in on my mother-in-law changing into her swimsuit’ dodecahedron.” – Ted Lasso
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  3. On the Diamond Dogs: “It’s just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.” – Ted Lasso
  4. On gambling: “Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that’s a little rich for my blood.” – Ted Lasso
  5. “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” – Ted Lasso
  6. “I always figured that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it’s horrible. No, thank you.” – Ted Lasso
  7. “Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage water. I don’t know why y’all do that.” – Ted Lasso
  8. “If you would have told me that I’d be drinking tea at 3 o’clock every day, about a year ago… I would have punched you in the mouth.” – Ted Lasso
  9. “Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.” – Ted Lasso
  10. “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t wanna hear it. All right?” – Ted Lasso
  11. “Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high.” – Ted Lasso
  12. “If y’all were really introverts, you would’ve been quiet as a church mouse. Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Those turkeys won’t shut up.” – Ted Lasso
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  13. “Divorce is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one leaving or if…you’re the one who got left. It makes folks do crazy things.” – Ted Lasso

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