90+ Major Payne Quotes, What Are You Lookin’ At, Ass Eyes?

Major Payne is an all-time 1995 classic movie, Starring Damon Wayans, Karyn Parsons, Steven Martini, and Michael Ironside, Major Payne was directed by Nick Castle and released in 1995.

If you are looking for Major Payne Quotes, then browse through our collection of Major Payne Quotes that we have collected from many sources on the internet.

90 Best Major Payne Quotes

  1. “I don’t like it. It makes me feel all funny.” – Major Payne
  2. “I’m just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.” – Major Payne
  3. Major Payne’s a major pimp.” – Major Payne
  4. “He’s trying to show you some affection.” – Emily Walburn
  5. “He in there? If he’s still in there, he ain’t happy!” – Major Payne
  6. “Sorry, Major. There’s nobody left. You’ve killed them all.” – General Decker
  7. “You’d better give up, señor. You cannot kill us all!” – Drug Lord
  8. “A bullet. It’s somethin’ special. It’s from my heart.” – Major Payne
  9. “Want me to show you a little trick to take your mind off that arm?” – Major Payne
  10. “He makes us squat when we piss.” – Major Payne
  11. “I didn’t stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth and stop babying him.” – Major Payne
  12. “I tell ya, ladies, you’re the prettiest cadets under my command. I oughta change my name to Pimp Daddy Payne.” – Major Payne
  13. “You’re still a shit sandwich. You’re just not a soggy one. From this moment, you are no longer turds. You have graduated to maggots!” – Major Payne
  14. “You hold it, or else I’ll break it off, and kick it around on the ground!” – Major Payne
  15. “Who’s the person that got me this blood on this lip? Who’s responsible? Don’t all run at once. Maybe no one’s responsible. I just had it comin’!” – Major Payne
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  16. “And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, egomaniacal, frigid lunatic asshole!” – Emily Walburn
  17. “What about family, and unity, and all that other bullshit you said?” – Cadet Alex Stone
  18. “You nasty little worm. Go change your huggies, boy!” – Major Payne
  19. “Now you might feel a little pressure.” – Major Payne
  20. “Maybe not, but I can clean out your colon faster than one of those burritos with extra guacamole sauce!” – Major Payne
  21. “Got no worries, got no stress.” – Major Payne
  22. “I never said family don’t break up. Don’t you watch Oprah?” – Major Payne
  23. “Because he’s six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.” – Major Payne
  24. “From now on, my little group of shaved scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be bald like me.” – Major Payne
  25. Major Payne just terminated that bad man with extreme prejudice!” – Cadet Kevin Dunn

Major Payne Movie Quotes

  1. “One! Don’t you feel dumb. Two! Look at you. Three! Don’t you ever make jokes about me behind my back, or else I’ll stomp you into the ground.” – Major Payne
  2. “Maybe, what he needs is for you to pop your titty out his mouth, and let the boy grow up.” – Major Payne
  3. “Don’t push the ‘maybes,’ baby.” – Major Payne
  4. “Boy, I am two seconds from being on you, like white on rice in a glass of milk, on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst.” – Major Payne
  5. “From my heart, left ventricle; took it out myself with a field knife.” – Major Payne
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  6. “Major! What are the boys doing in those dresses?” – Emily Walburn
  7. “That’s a very cynical plan.” – Emily Walburn
  8. “Excuse me, what did you say?” – Emily Walburn
  9. “Why do I have to wear the dress?” – Cadet Heathcoat
  10. “You hold it, turd!” – Major Payne
  11. “Well, maybe that’s because he’s six.” – Emily Walburn
  12. “And I call it neutering.” – Major Payne
  13. “Works every time.” – Major Payne
  14. “You like the way I handled them white folks back there?” – Major Payne
  15. “What happened to knocking first, Dotson?” – Cadet Alex Stone
  16. “Maybe I like you a lot.” – Major Payne
  17. “Oh, thank you. Now drop down and give me 25 more for speaking out of line!” – Major Payne
  18. “You like to rhyme, boy?” – Major Payne
  19. “They’re putting on a fashion show.” – Major Payne
  20. “Used to be Samson, now I’m Ann.” – Major Payne
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  21. “Who’s the dummy now?” – Major Payne
  22. “What happened? You terminate his command?” – Major Payne
  23. “At ease, Payne. Relax. Do you know why you’re here?” – General Decker
  24. “No, actually, he left. I wanted children, he didn’t.” – Emily Walburn
  25. “Payne, what happened? You’ve only been out one week.” – General Decker
  26. “I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement.” – Emily Walburn

Quotes From Major Payne

  1. “It’s civilian life, Sir. I had a minor setback.” – Major Payne
  2. “Here, I got something for you.” – Major Payne
  3. “Got to earn my right to be called a man.” – Major Payne
  4. “They may not like me, but they will respect me.” – Major Payne
  5. “Here. I want you to read this book. Read it. Apply it.” – Emily Walburn
  6. Major Payne, can you please help me to understand why you shaved the children bald?” – Emily Walburn
  7. “Most blood is now shed in the halls of Congress, Payne. Guys like us are becoming dinosaurs.” – General Decker
  8. “He’s a little upset about this morning. Apparently, he had a little accident.” – Emily Walburn
  9. “Do you really think this is the best way to gain the respect and admiration of these young men?” – Emily Walburn
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  10. “I’m surprised, you ain’t dropped ’bout 12 puppies by now. Ain’t you never been married?” – Major Payne
  11. “What, boy? What? What? What?” – Major Payne
  12. “Their pantyhose is falling down.” – Student
  13. “My finger, my finger!” – Marine Private
  14. “What’s your damage, muscle head? You stupid? You ignorant or are you just plain old deaf?” – Major Payne
  15. “You eye me one more time, I’ll snatch it out and put it in Heathcoat’s cookie bag!” – Major Payne
  16. “What the hell was that, you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie?” – Major Payne
  17. “Let me tell you something, I am not your damn brother!” – Major Payne
  18. “Then you hold it before I kick your ass back to Mayberry.” – Major Payne
  19. “That’s not enough. Look at them, these animals are so pathetic that even their own commander didn’t even show up.” – Lieutenant
  20. “‘Slippery,’ he says. You think Charlie cares anything about slippery? The only thing he knows is to slit your throat. What if this were a life-or-death situation?” – Major Payne
  21. “Any man that’d leave you outta be monkey-stomped and have his brains mailed back to his mother.” – Major Payne
  22. “What are you laughing at, pig-boy? You find a piece of candy in your pocket? What’s your name, son?” – Major Payne
  23. Major Payne reporting for duty, Sir!” – Major Payne

Famous Major Payne Quotes

  1. “You’re in charge of the green boys.” – Phillips
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  2. “Be advised, ladies. We are going to win the Virginia Military Games this year! You will note my emphasis on the word WIN: Whisky! India! November! Get used to the sound of that word!” – Major Payne
  3. “Fighting is no longer being done out on the battlefields. Now, all the blood is shed in the halls of Congress, boys like us are becoming dinosaurs.” – Major Payne
  4. “General, are you telling me that in this man’s military, is there no room for trained weapon of destruction?” – Major Payne
  5. “Listen, I’ve made some calls and I have an assignment for you. It’s not great, you understand, but it gets you back in the military.” – General Decker
  6. “Got no worries, got no care.” – Major Payne
  7. “Come on, he can’t do this, leave him alone. I can barely do it. It’s slippery out here.” – Cadet Alex Stone
  8. Major Payne, what are you doing here? I was told you were away on an important assignment.” – Colonel Braggart
  9. “Lieutenant, I can only disqualify the cadet who started the disturbance.” – Colonel Braggart
  10. “This is unsatisfactory. I demand the entire Madison Squad be disqualified from the final competition.” – Colonel Stone
  11. “You hit that boy again, I’m gonna do more than salute you.” – Major Payne
  12. “Nobody’s leaving here until you turds get this course down to 80 seconds.” – Major Payne
  13. “I don’t call it babying, I call it nurturing.” – Emily Walburn
  14. “I ain’t frigid.” – Major Payne
  15. Major Payne’s a major diss.” – Major Payne
  16. “Because we feel good in a dress.” – Major Payne
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  17. “The ABC’s of being a positive male role model?” – Major Payne
  18. “Payne’s not here, he’s in our ass!” – Cadet Williams
  19. “Break it on down! Break it on down!” – Cadet Williams
  20. “Butt’s so tight, he can’t pass gas!” – Cadet Williams
  21. “Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?” – Major Payne
  22. “Let’s go, let’s go, giddyup, let’s ride!” – Cadet Dotson
  23. “One, tubby, tubby! Two, tubby, tubby!” – Major Payne
  24. “Ain’t no need for name-calling!” – Major Payne
  25. “Because you are the one with the biggest tits!” – Cadet Alex Stone

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