45 Best Joe Dirt Quotes About Life

Joe Dirt is a comedy film that tells of a man who goes looking for his parents who went missing in the Grand Canyon when he was a baby, Joe Dirt loses his family, job, and more, but he always pursues his dreams and he is a good friend.

If you are looking for Joe Dirt Quotes, then browse through our collection of Joe Dirt Quotes that we have collected from many sources on the internet.

Best Joe Dirt Quotes

  1. “But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.” – Joe Dirt
  2. “Your nuts are frozen to the porch. Oh, that sucks.” – Joe Dirt
  3. “They’re large and in charge, and they’re lookin for chickies.” – Joe Dirt
  4. “Like them spinnin tires, do ya?” – Joe Dirt
  5. “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check one-two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin’, and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?” – Joe Dirt
  6. “You can’t have “no” in your heart. “No” is not an option, brother.” – Joe Dirt
  7. “Here on earth, we call this place a ‘town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.” – Joe Dirt
  8. “Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?” – Joe Dirt
  9. “Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make everyday count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life, because everything happens for a reason. Look at every day and smile that God has kept you alive, cause there’s nothing sweeter than life.” – Joe Dirt
  10. “Things get the darkest before dawn.” – Joe Dirt
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  11. “And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’” – Joe Dirt
  12. “There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.” – Joe Dirt
  13. “I got the poo on me!” – Joe Dirt

Funny Joe Dirt Quotes

  1. “You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? Boom. Get her to sew that!” – Clem
  2. “It’s like the cartoons, I’m seein all tweet tweet.” – Joe Dirt
  3. “Might as well ask why is a tree good? Why’s a sunset good? Why are boobs good?” – Joe Dirt
  4. “His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy.” – Joe Dirt
  5. “Won’t kill you.” – Joe Dirt
  6. “Why don’t you practice fallin down, I’ll be there in a minute.” – Joe Dirt
  7. “Life’s a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
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  8. “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.” – Joe Dirt
  9. “My name is Joe Dirt, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.” – Joe Dirt
  10. “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
  11. “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt

Short Joe Dirt Quotes

  1. “When bad pets go bad, dang.” – Joe Dirt
  2. “Keep on, keepin’ on” – Joe Dirt
  3. “If my calculations are correct, this will create ice… oh no, killer mustard gas!” – Joe Dirt
  4. “Now, this ain’t no flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.” – Joe Dirt
  5. “Well, that might be your problem. It’s not what you like. It’s the consumer.” – Joe Dirt
  6. “Ma’am, you should never drink the bong water.” – Joe Dirt
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  7. “All aberration radio, all the time.” – Joe Dirt
  8. “Well say it, don’t spray it brother, Dang!” – Joe Dirt
  9. “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” – Joe Dirt
  10. “I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.” – Joe Dirt
  11. “Well I didn’t know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it’s not my fault. And she’s one of the hottest girls on the planet.” – Joe Dirt
  12. “Well, it ain’t a meteor.” – Meteor Bert
  13. “Well well, lookey here. Corn off the cob.” – Joe Dirt
  14. “Watch the guns baby, that’s how I get the gals.” – Joe Dirt

Famous Joe Dirt Quotes

  1. “Hey! If you want to impress me, get a mullet hairstyle.” – Joe Dirt
  2. “You see that moon? You don’t know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon wondering if, at that exact moment, my mom or my dad was looking at the same moon. And for that brief second, we were together again, kind of, you know?” – Joe Dirt
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  3. “Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin’ and it was grossin’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up, and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…” – Joe Dirt
  4. “To tell you the truth, brother, between you and me. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. That’s just me talking.” – Joe Dirt
  5. “So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis? – Joe Dirt
  6. “Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das or crap flappers?” – Joe Dirt
  7. “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?” – Joe Dirt

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